I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
