Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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