i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
