all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
