Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
