Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
