i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
40s are totally the cure
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
