Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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