I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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