Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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