well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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