Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
