there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
