its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
