if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
