Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
