i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
