Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
