Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
