Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
