i just google imaged poop.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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