y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize