This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
