i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
