Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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