Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
