Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
