We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
