So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
