is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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