I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
