omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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