Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
