I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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