Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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