this is something i pride myself on being below average for
should my penis look like a turkey
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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