Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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