don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
