You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
