I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Will exercising make me less horny?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
