He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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