Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Randomize
