I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
