too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize