afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
