Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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