well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
