When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
