I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
