I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
