She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
