never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
