I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
