i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
