He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
