she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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