i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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