my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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