I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
