Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
