Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
