dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
