I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
