just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
