What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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