is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
