If i come over, it means nothing
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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