win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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