I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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