My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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