well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
