i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
